Illness can be a powerful tool to lead us into stillness. So often in our society we see illness as some sort of weakness that we need to eradicate from the planet. As something we need to avoid or push and medicate our way through. An interruption to our life and to our productivity. But what if illness is deeper than that, what if it carries with it a divine purpose?
Illness is a powerful teacher. It brings us to a deep place of stillness within us. A return to the darkness of the womb. Living with chronic illness at different times in my life has brought me to a deeper more sacred understanding of illness. We so often are taught to think of illness and death as the opposite to life. For me it has always been a pathway to greater life, to an expansion within myself and my soul.
Society does not honour the fullness of the sacred path of illness. We so often do not allow ourselves to fully immerse ourselves within its magick. Maybe we fear that we will never come out of it? Maybe we fear that if we succumb to it then it will engulf us and swallow us whole? Maybe we fear the unconscious knowing of our deep transformation? Maybe we fear that when we come back out of this sacred initiation that not only will our life be not the same but neither will we.
And so we do what is expected, we fill the space and silence with visits to doctors, with therapies and appointments to medicate and push our body back into order. We try and try to control as we feel ourselves falling, slipping, tumbling out of control.
But what if we started to reframe our understanding of illness? What if we started to honour the power of this sacred journey? What if we allowed ourselves to fall down the rabbit hole? Let go and allow the stillness? The silence? The pain? The hurt? The fear? What if we dropped the resistance, knowing that illness is taking us on a magickal and deeply transformative journey to a more chronically magickal and pleasure filled life?
Our bodies and souls are so intimately connected. When we suppress and force our bodies to conform to some idea of how we think we need to be living life, it eventually stops complying. Each time we suppress and deny the gift of illness it only comes back louder and stronger to get your attention. Maybe all that your soul wants is for you to be in a space of silence and to really listen?
This allowing and honouring is an active process. It is not one of just giving up and giving in and numbing. It is one of coming into a deep relationship with illness and allowing yourself to really hear, to really listen and to really know its truth and through its truth your own deeper truth.
Illness is not just a list of physical symptoms that we need to get rid of. Illness is a teacher, a guide, a protector, a balancer, a harmoniser, a visionary and a powerful agitator. It can bring you to your knees , turning your whole world upside down, making you see and work with all that you had been trying to keep hidden.
Sometimes the silence is deafening. Especially if you have been used to filling the silence with your life. Illness can make you sit in that silence. No work, no social life, no activity to fill the silence. Truly there is only so much netflix one can watch! But maybe, just maybe the silence is where the magick is!
Illness doesnt follow any rules. We would like to think it does. Our modern western medical system would like to believe it does, as this would make them feel more in control of something they really have no control or power over and that makes them fucking uncomfortable. We would like to believe it does for the same reasons. But the truth is illness is a powerful mistress who plays by her own damn rules and she is not here to be liked! She is here to get shit sorted!
Learning to work with illness and to honour and respect her wisdom can bring you to a powerful place of transformation and a greater, more expanded version of yourself. Illness can be the most sacred loving gift from the divine heart if only you would let her.
And so it is!
Michelle Eves Weaver of Barefoot Magick.